A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

What is the smallest part of a FIAT?

What is the smallest part of a FIAT?

The owners brain.

What is the smallest part of a FIAT?

What is the smallest part of a FIAT?

The owners brain.

I am on my sea food diet right now! …

I am on my sea food diet right now!

How does it work?

Whenever I see food I eat it!

I am on my sea food diet right now! …

I am on my sea food diet right now!

How does it work?

Whenever I see food I eat it!
A lady goes into a grocery store to buy some tampon. As fate would have it she picked up a box without a price on it. When the cashier went to ring it up he noticed there was not a price.

As grocery cashiers are so inclined to do, he grabbed the P. A. microphone and said, "Need a price on TAMPAX!"

A stock boy who heard the garbled message thought the cashier said, "Some tacks" and promptly yelled back, "The kind you pound in with a hammer or the kind you push in with your finger?"
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."

Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."

Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks: "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him."

The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."

The Frenchman thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me."

The Englishman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French twat again."