Archive for the ‘ US Headlines ’ Category

Sarah Palin Nude? Democrats Dig for Dirt

Democratic political operatives have already started digging for dirt on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. John McCain announced her as his choice for Vice-President on Friday, and the spin doctors are on the hunt.

Palin’s experience in beauty pageants…

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McCain Introduces Sarah Palin as Running Mate

DAYTON, Ohio – Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain introduced his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, at a raucous rally Friday, praising her “well groomed cuticles ” and “skill” in arranging matching outfits.”

“She is exactly w…

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Juneau, Alaska – (Frozen Ass Mess): A skull and crossbones-emblazoned UFO buzzed the Wassilla home of Alaska’s Governor Sarah Palin.

Moments earlier GOP presidential wannabe John McCain had just announced that the 44 year-old ex beauty queen is th…

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Sarah Palin supports creationism

Vice President hopeful Sarah Palin has admitted that she believes creationism should be taught in schools.

The Alaskan Senator picked as a running mate by John McCain said ‘Yeah sure why not? Creationism deserves to be taught alongside evolution.

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Denver, CO – A surprised Barack Hussein Obama has suddenly ordered Democratic Vice President nominee Joe Biden to start wearing a dress and wig at all future rallies and events.

This stunning announcement has come on the heels after the upsetting…

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Barack Obama Assassination Plot Foiled

Security men arrested a fat man loitering close to the site where Democratic party Presidential nominee Barack Obama was due to make a speech last night.

The man, in his late forties, and weighing around 400 pounds, was taken away in a police veh…

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Hollywood, CA – Actress/singer Selena Gomez has been unhappy in recent weeks after a fan yelled: “You’re a carpenter’s dream…Flat as a board!”

The very personal insult was so loud it carried over the stadium’s public address system. Over 35,00…

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Denver UFO rattles Obama amid paper’s ‘JFK Jr faked death’ claims

Denver, Colorado – (Extraterrestrial Mess): A mystery UFO buzzed Denver’s Pepsi Center today amid breaking headlines in a Californian celeb paper claiming John F Kennedy Junior faked his fatal 1999 airplane crash.

The La FagHagSlagMag story broke…

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Las Vegas Issues Odds on Hurricane Gustav

Las Vegas, Nevada (IPP) – Odds makers at the Lost Wages Casino in Las Vegas are betting that New Orleans won’t get it right when Hurricane Gustav, currently south of Haiti, approaches New Orleans as a category 4 or 5 hurricane in about six days.

O…

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John McCain Chooses Bigfoot As Running Mate

Aug. 25, 2008 – In an attempt to deflect American voters’ attention from the Democratic Party Convention, John McCain today announced his Vice Presidential running mate. With Barack Obama having named Joseph Biden two days ago, McCain named Bigfoot,…

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