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After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official
whispers, ‘Your Eminence, I have some business to discuss. We at
Nescafe have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100
million to the church . if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give
us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily
coffee’.”

The Pope looks outraged and thunders, “That is impossible. The
Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed.” Well,” says
the Nescafe man somewhat chastened, “We anticipated your reluctance.
For this reason, and the importance of the Lord’s prayer to all
catholics, we will increase our offer to $300 million. All we
require is that you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give us this day
our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily coffee’.”

Again, even more sternly, the Pope replies, “That, my son, is
impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not
be changed.”

Finally, the Nescafe director says, “Your Holiness, we at Nescafe
respect your adherence to your faith, we realise that tradition is
essential to your beliefs, we fully understand the importance of the
word of the Lord …………….but we do have one final offer.
Please discuss it with your cardinals. We will donate $500 million
to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord’s
Prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day
our daily coffee’. Please, please consider it.” And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. “There is
some Good news,” he announces, “and some bad news …..
The good news is, he continues to a hushed assembly, ‘ that the
Church will get $ 500 million.”

“And what is the bad news, your Holiness?” asks a Cardinal.

“Sadly” says the Pope,
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We would have to lose the Safeway Bakery Account.

posted by Varous

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