A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

“Now, class observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms inside your stomach.”

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Mr. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to her classes:

“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer.

With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, “A lawyer!”

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The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay.

It began, “Daddy fell into the well last week…”

“My goodness!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he all right?”

“He must be,” said the boy. “He stopped yelling for help from yesterday.

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