HippoLaxative » life and death http://www.hippolaxative.com Cause some people just need to loosen up! Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:59:13 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Ponder These http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-2/ http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-2/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:59:00 +0000 admin


2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?



5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?



8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?



9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?



10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?



11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)



12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?



13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?



14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?



14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?



16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.



17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.



18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:



19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?



20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it?



21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
]]> http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-2/feed/ 0 Ponder These http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-5/ http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-5/#comments Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:59:00 +0000 admin http://www.hippolaxative.com/?guid=8b7d31c7001e849fc461064e584b81b2


2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?



5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?



8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?



9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?



10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?



11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)



12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?



13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?



14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?



14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?



16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.



17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.



18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:



19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?



20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it?



21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
]]> http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/08/03/ponder-these-5/feed/ 0 The love story of Ralph and Edna http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/04/15/the-love-story-of-ralph-and-edna/ http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/04/15/the-love-story-of-ralph-and-edna/#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:21:00 +0000 http://www.hippolaxative.com/2009/04/15/the-love-story-of-ralph-and-edna/ Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’

Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’