Archive for January, 2012

What’s the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"

Groom: "I had Tolio as a child."
Bride: "You mean Polio?"
Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes."

The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?"

Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles."
Bride: "You mean Measles?"
Groom: "No Kneasles, a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The Bride then removes his boxers and the bride asks: "Why are you spotted?"

Groom: "As a child I had smallpox."
Bride: "I hope you don't mean SmallCox!"
A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around.

Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing.

The blind man calmly replied, "I'm just lookin' around."
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

An independant!

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?

An independant!