Archive for December, 2010

Republican or Democrat?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted December 31, 2010 at 6:54 am
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You'r
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Filed under: odds and ends

Teacher: “What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted December 30, 2010 at 11:59 pm
Teacher: "What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?"

Pupil: "Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!"
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Filed under: odds and ends

Tidbits

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:01 am
"I get those maternal feelings sometimes, like when I'm lying on the couch and can't reach the remote, I think, 'Boy, a kid would be nice right now.'" --Kathleen Madigan --- "Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow who gave birth to a baby girl named Apple. Gwyneth says looking forward to having
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Filed under: odds and ends

Army of the Lord

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:01 am
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The preacher said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I
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Filed under: odds and ends

Two Dogs

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:01 am
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "I
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Magic Trick

  • Written by admin
  • Posted December 29, 2010 at 6:36 am
A cruise ship hired a magician to entertain the passengers. Since the passengers changed every four or five days, the magician was able to perform the same tricks over and over. Unfortunately, the Captain of the ship had a parrot who sat around and watched the magician perform his tricks, over and
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Filed under: odds and ends

Magic Trick

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:36 am
A cruise ship hired a magician to entertain the passengers. Since the passengers changed every four or five days, the magician was able to perform the same tricks over and over. Unfortunately, the Captain of the ship had a parrot who sat around and watched the magician perform his tricks, over and
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Filed under: odds and ends

Map

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:36 am
Before heading out on a family hike, we stood at the trailhead reviewing map pinned to a bulletin board. A red arrow on the map that said "You are here" caught my six year old's attention. Pointing to it he asked. "How do they know that?"
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Filed under: odds and ends

Shopping

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:36 am
My husband had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with me. But when he found himself stuck in a lingerie shop while I tried on one garment after another, he regretted his decision. Impatient and bored he asked a salesclerk, "Is there anything in the store for men?" "Sir," she said, "everythi
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How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 3:59 am
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer.
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Filed under: odds and ends