Archive for November, 2010

Chaos

  • Written by admin
  • Posted November 30, 2010 at 7:12 am
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling
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Filed under: odds and ends

Chaos

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:12 am
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling
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Filed under: odds and ends

Be a Kid Again

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:12 am
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today. Grow a milk mustache. Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself. Have a staring contest with your cat. Kiss a frog just in case. Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no." As
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Filed under: odds and ends

Be a Kid Again

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:12 am
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today. Grow a milk mustache. Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself. Have a staring contest with your cat. Kiss a frog just in case. Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no." As
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Filed under: odds and ends

New Number

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:12 am
A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number. "I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" The company
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Filed under: odds and ends

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day …

  • Written by admin
  • Posted November 29, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."

"Why's that?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."
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Filed under: odds and ends

Headache cure

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:48 am
When my physician said that my headaches were caused by tension in my neck and shoulders, I looked around for a product that would relax those muscles. The perfect solution seemed to be a neck wrap that was designed to be cooled in the freezer or heated in the microwave. Luckily for me, the p
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Filed under: odds and ends

President’s “Manure”

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:48 am
Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the Washington Garden Club and kept referring to 'good manure' that must be used on flowers. Some society ladies complained (later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman, "Bess, can't you get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?"
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Filed under: odds and ends

Ever Rain?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted November 28, 2010 at 7:07 am
A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does." "When?" asked the visitor. "Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the ranche
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Filed under: odds and ends

Mad Cow Disease

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 7:07 am
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad cow disease is really scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "I'm not worried, it doesn't affect us ducks."
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Filed under: odds and ends