Archive for April, 2010

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted April 30, 2010 at 11:59 am
How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Amish don't believe in light bulbs. God will provide light unto the world.
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Filed under: odds and ends

Parachute Jump

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 8:27 am
I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet. "How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman. "A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you
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Filed under: odds and ends

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:47 am

1. They live here. You don’t.

2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay
off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an
adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy and
walks o

Check out Joshing.me

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Filed under: odds and ends

The Pope and Limo

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:46 am
After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the
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Filed under: odds and ends

Church Money

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:46 am
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he talked with the organist to see what kind of inspirational music she could play after the announcement abo
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Filed under: odds and ends

Yo momma is so fat. She puts on lipstick with a paint roller.

  • Written by admin
  • Posted April 29, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Yo momma is so fat. She puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
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Filed under: odds and ends

Takes The Piss One Liner

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 8:08 am

Q. What’s gray, sits by the bed and takes the piss?

A. A kidney dialysis machine.

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Filed under: One Liner Jokes

The Rules of Chocolate

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 5:53 am

- If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too
slowly.

- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all
count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a
hot car. The solution:
Check out Joshing.me

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Filed under: odds and ends

Where’s Barney

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 5:53 am
A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find
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Filed under: odds and ends

Prison Mail

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 5:53 am
A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: Dear Husband, "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: Dear Wife, "Whatever you do, DO NOT touch the
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Filed under: odds and ends