Archive for February, 2010

Terms to Know

  • Written by admin
  • Posted February 28, 2010 at 6:40 am
TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea
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Filed under: odds and ends

Red Lights

  • Written by admin
  • Posted February 27, 2010 at 6:54 am
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself I must be losing it. I could
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Filed under: odds and ends

Still Think You’re Having a Bad Day?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:53 am
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
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Filed under: odds and ends

Having a Bad Day?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:53 am
Well, then, consider this.............. In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No
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Filed under: odds and ends

Woops…

  • Written by admin
  • Posted February 26, 2010 at 6:48 am
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about
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Filed under: odds and ends

First Class?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:47 am
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The
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Filed under: odds and ends

Draftee Exam

  • Written by admin
  • Posted February 25, 2010 at 6:44 am
A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers. Does that mean I'm medicall
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Filed under: odds and ends

Raise?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:43 am
For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president. A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve th
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Filed under: odds and ends

Tips with English Grammer

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:43 am
1. Don't abbrev. 2. Check to see if you any words out. 3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct. 4. About sentence fragments. 5. When dangling, don't use participles. 6. Don't use no double negatives. 7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent. 8. Just between You and
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Filed under: odds and ends

Going Camping?

  • Written by admin
  • Posted at 6:42 am
Some tips on better camping: -- When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. -- Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants. -- Old socks can be made into high f
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Filed under: odds and ends