Rules of the labbrbr1) If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.br2) When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.br3) Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time.br4) First draw your curves, then plot your data.br5) Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.br6) Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.br7) To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.br8) If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.br9) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.br10) Do not believe in miracles--rely on them.br11) Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.br12) All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.br13) No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.br14) Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.

My husband had run to the store with our daughters, Sarah (4) and Hannah (2) and on the way home he drove through a neighborhood looking for houses for sale. After a bit Sarah asked, Daddy, what are we doing? My husband said he was looking at the houses that were for sale. Sarah asked Ar

Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that. Jesse James: I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measur

Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each d

Sometimes I feel so inept. Like when there's a baseball player who's worth $250 million, and I can't remember his or her name. Visa is everywhere you want to be, except out of debt. It's better to be poor than to be rich. The rich always have to fear becoming poor, but the poor never have to fear

Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning. Nobody in school likes me, he complained. The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians

When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science of aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn't qualified because of my poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same thrills. I'm always pushing

One day an out-of-work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has

Lenny went on vacation and asked Bobby to watch over his house. About a week later, Lenny calls home and asked "How's my cat?".brbrBobby hesitated and sadly told Lenny his cat died.brbr"What?! You shouldn't have broke the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you should have told me he was on the roof. The second time I called, you should have said there was no way to get him down. The third time I called, you should have told me that you tried to get her off the roof, but she fell down and died," explained Lenny.brbrBobby apologized and went about his day.brbrAbout a week later, Lenny called again and asked "How's my Granny?".brbrThere was a long silence and then Bobby replied. "Well, she's on the roof."

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