One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can't buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.brbrThe next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can't have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.brbrNext day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did. She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you're satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach.brbrThey notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.brbrThe men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses.brbrThe next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers."brbr"Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?"brbrThe blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister Katherine from the convent."

A man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.brbrIn walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.brbrGoing back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.brbr"Who was that?" the husband asks.brbr"Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers.brbr"Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!"

Who is the biggest gangster in the sea ?

Al Caprawn !

Who is the dogs favourite comedian ?

Growlcho Marx !

Who is the Easter Bunny’s favourite movie actor?

Rabbit De Niro!

Who is the fastest runner in history.Adam – because he was the first in the human race.

Who is the Gorillas’ favourite playwright?

Eugene O’Neill – who wrote ‘The Hairy Ape!’

Who is the Gorillas’ favourite President of recent years?

Hairy Truman!

Who is the greatest painter of this century?

Pigcasso!