What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?brbrA brick layer!
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Archive for December, 2009
The bus driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars.brbrSuddenly, a baby starts crying.brbr"Come on kid," the bus driver said "you're only 6 months old, you can make it without a cigarette."
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What's the difference between a dog howling on the back porch, and a woman howling on the front porch?brbrThe dog shuts up when you let it in.
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George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him.brbrHe turned to Moses and said: "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"brbrMoses replied: "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"
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The other day while driving home, after being delayed at my
office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror.
The police officer pulled me over for speeding. Hoping for
a little leniency I explained to him that I was rushing home
to be with my wife on our first anniversary.
But r
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My husband had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with me.
But when he found himself stuck in a lingerie shop while I
tried on one garment after another, he regretted his decision.
Impatient and bored he asked a salesclerk, Is there anything
in the store for men?
Sir, she said, everythi
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Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station
mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When
I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew
was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
How old is the coffee you have here? I asked the woman who
w
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iSee if you can translate the following into the familiar sayings we've all heard? See answers below./i
1. Scintillate, Scintillate, asteroid exiguous.
2. Members of an avian species of identical
plumage congregate.
3. Surveillance should precede salutations
4. Pulchritude poses possesses s
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The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision:brbr1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats.br2. The medical researchers don't become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats.br3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that even rats won't do.
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What's the difference between a man and a messy room?brbrYou can straighten up a messy room.
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