Teacher: “Simon, can you spell your name backwards?”
Simon: “No Mis!”
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Archive for November, 2009
Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A. The prostitute – she can wash and resell her crack.
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One Liner Jokes
Father: “You’ve got 4 D’s and a C on your report.”
Son: “Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject!”
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Yo momma is so ugly I took her to the zoo and the guy at the gate said: “Thanks for bringing her back!”
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What do you call a positively charged pussy-cat?
A CATion.
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Why do birds fly south for winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
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What’s the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?
One hates water while the other loves to be wet.
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and “do it” for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he’d like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in.” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, “I had no idea you were so religious.” The boy turns and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
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What travels around the world and stays in a corner?
A stamp.
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Yo momma is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
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