Archive for October 16th, 2009

An old preacher was dying. …

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.brbrWhen they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.brbrThe preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.brbrBoth the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments.brbrThey were also puzzled, the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.brbrFinally, the banker said: “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?”brbrThe old preacher mustered up his strength and then weakly said: “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”

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Son: “Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?”brbrDad: “No, son, it wouldn’t be right.”brbrSon: “Well, you could try.”

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The Difference One Liner

Q. What is the difference between “Ooooh!” and “Aaaah!”?

A. About three inches.

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, “You need to stop masturbating.”brbrThe guy replies, “Why Doc? Am I going blind?”brbrThe doctor says, “No, but you’re upsetting the other patients in the waiting room.”

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