Yo momma is so fat that her driver’s license says: “Picture continued on other side!”
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A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom’s and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:brbr”I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!brbrAll my love.brbrP. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.”
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Why do men want their brides to wear white?brbrBecause they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!
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An Intel PC has four protections modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?brbrA gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Yo momma is so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
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Yo momma is so fat, she could sell shade.
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Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out.
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn’t really ethical to screw one of his patients.brbrHowever, a little voice in his head said Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients, … so it’s not like you’re the first …brbrThis made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, but then again … they probably weren’t veterinarians …
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What does a man consider a seven course meal?brbrA hot dog and a six pack of beer.
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