Committee: a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
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Some Somalians open fire on an oil tanker, take hostage the 25 crew and hijack the vessel carrying $100million of oil …brbrI ‘borrow’ some music, TV and films from the internet and they want to sue me for piracy?brbrThis world is messed up.
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What’s the difference between government bonds and men?brbrBonds mature.
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Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.
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After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.brbr”Get up dear,” she said, “it’s 20 to seven.”brbrHe awoke with a start and said, “In who’s favor?”
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The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold on Bill, and after he’d finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a fur coat out of him, and snuggled and murmured and fondled.brbr”Good heavens, Ethel,” he exploded, “get off of me! I get enough of this at the office.”
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What’s the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
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One day a man went into a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup. The waitress brought his order out to him on a tray with her middle finger immersed in the middle of his soup bowl.
“What the hell’s the idea of putting your finger in my soup bowl?” the man bellowed at the waitress.
“My doctor said the best thing for my rheumatism was to keep my finger pressed in a warm damp place,” the waitress informed him.
“Oh yeah,” the man shouted, “then why don’t you take that finger of yours and shove it up your fat ass?”
“I’m sorry sir the waitress replied, but I already tried that before I brought your soup out.”
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How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
2) The light bulb cannot be changed — it has to be smashed.
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A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No” replied the trainee.
“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot”
The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?”
“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.
“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down
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