A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?”.

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said: “About 2 hours.” The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?”.

The barber looked around at the shop and said: “About 3 hours.” The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked: “How long before I can get a haircut?”

The barber looked around the shop and said: “About an hour only.”

The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said: “Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back”.

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked: “So where does that guy go when he leaves?”

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said: “To your wife!”

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

What’s harder than a diamond? Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kick.

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

What is the difference between marriage and death?

Dead people are free.

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

A man went to the doctor.

The doctor examined him and said: “I’m sorry to have to tell you this – but you only have three minutes left to live.”

The man said: “Oh my god! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?”

The doctor thought for a moment then replied: “I could boil you an egg!”

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

A lady who was known as Churchill’s main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, “Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?” Churchill sleepily replied, “No, ma’am. I do so purely by choice.”

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

Yo momma is so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

Why do so many women fake orgasm?

Because so many men fake foreplay.

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!”

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?”

The Captain replied, “If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid.” All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man’s man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, “Get me my brown pants.”

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”

“My father said it’d be a good idea, Sir.”

“Oh? And what does your father do?”

“He’s in the Army, Sir.”

posted by Various including URLVids.Tv JokeVault.blogspot.com WomensFunnyVideos.com OnlyBestJokes.Com