HippoLaxative

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

How many counsilors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but that light bulb really has to want to change.

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it

Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

If men got pregnant…. abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".