1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

10. If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat??

posted by Varous

span id="ctl00_cphMainContent_lbQuestion"1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?br /br /2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?br /br /3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?br /br /4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?br /br /5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?br /br /6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?br /br /7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?br /br /8. Why is it called building when it is already built?br /br /9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?br /br /10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?br /br /11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?br /br /12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat??br //spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-9123557564250707997?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/aleE_cBJdyI" height="1" width="1"/

span id="ctl00_cphMainContent_lbQuestion"1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?br /br /2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?br /br /3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?br /br /4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?br /br /5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?br /br /6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?br /br /7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?br /br /8. Why is it called building when it is already built?br /br /9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?br /br /10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?br /br /11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?br /br /12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat??br //spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-9123557564250707997?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=aleE_cBJdyI:y7DuzUFx5Sk:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/aleE_cBJdyI" height="1" width="1"/

• “Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”

• “On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.”

• “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”

• “Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”

• “Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”

• “The patient refused an autopsy.”

• “The patient has no past history of suicides.”

• “Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.”

• “Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”

Find more at ringworks.com

posted by Varous

p /pulli "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."p /p/lili "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."p /p/lili "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."p /p/lili "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."p /p/lili "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."p /p/lili "The patient refused an autopsy."p /p/lili "The patient has no past history of suicides."p /p/lili "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."p /p/lili "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."/li/ulFind more at a href="http://www.rinkworks.com/said/patients.shtml"ringworks.com/adiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-2784845469171756238?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=9zA6sKq-T40:sP9LSpkO_Kc:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/9zA6sKq-T40" height="1" width="1"/

before marraige……………

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course! Over and over!

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get!

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After marriage…. simply read from bottom to top

posted by Varous

before marraige...............br /br /Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.br /br /Girl: Do you want me to leave?br /br /Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.br /br /Girl: Do you love me?br /br /Boy: Of course! Over and over!br /br /Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?br /br /Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?br /br /Girl: Will you kiss me?br /br /Boy: Every chance I get!br /br /Girl: Will you hit me?br /br /Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!br /br /Girl: Can I trust you?br /br /Boy: Yes.br /br /Girl: Darling!br /br /br /After marriage.... simply read from bottom to topdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-4113328617163464912?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/4tycQgmutg0" height="1" width="1"/

before marraige...............br /br /Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.br /br /Girl: Do you want me to leave?br /br /Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.br /br /Girl: Do you love me?br /br /Boy: Of course! Over and over!br /br /Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?br /br /Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?br /br /Girl: Will you kiss me?br /br /Boy: Every chance I get!br /br /Girl: Will you hit me?br /br /Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!br /br /Girl: Can I trust you?br /br /Boy: Yes.br /br /Girl: Darling!br /br /br /After marriage.... simply read from bottom to topdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-4113328617163464912?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=4tycQgmutg0:LqVBrHxIGBo:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/4tycQgmutg0" height="1" width="1"/