One day at the end of class little Johnny’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story….

The next day Johnny tells his story….

“My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands”

Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story….Johnny replies, “Yeah… don’t mess with my dad when he’s been drinking”

posted by Varous

Mr. Wilson was the chairman of The Community Chest, which had never received a donation from the most successful lawyer in town. He called on the attorney in an attempt to persuade him mend his ways. “Our research shows that you made a profit of over $600,000 last year, and yet you have not given a dime to the community charities! What do you have to say for yourself?” The lawyer replied, “Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? Do you know about my brother, the disabled veteran, who is blind and in a wheelchair? Do you know about my sister, whose husband died in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with three children?” Sheepishly, the charity solicitor admitted that he had no knowledge of any of this. “Well, since I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

posted by Varous

One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story....br /br /The next day Johnny tells his story....br /br /"My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands"br /br /Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story....Johnny replies, "Yeah... don't mess with my dad when he's been drinking"div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-1008838268752729041?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/LBp7mPNBeXA" height="1" width="1"/

One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story....br /br /The next day Johnny tells his story....br /br /"My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands"br /br /Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story....Johnny replies, "Yeah... don't mess with my dad when he's been drinking"div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-1008838268752729041?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=LBp7mPNBeXA:bR3Q1X7qZtU:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/LBp7mPNBeXA" height="1" width="1"/

Mr. Wilson was the chairman of The Community Chest, which had never received a donation from the most successful lawyer in town. He called on the attorney in an attempt to persuade him mend his ways. "Our research shows that you made a profit of over $600,000 last year, and yet you have not given a dime to the community charities! What do you have to say for yourself?" The lawyer replied, "Did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income? Do you know about my brother, the disabled veteran, who is blind and in a wheelchair? Do you know about my sister, whose husband died in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with three children?" Sheepishly, the charity solicitor admitted that he had no knowledge of any of this. "Well, since I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-1745562084131465841?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=003h_Sb29Qw:-eRsWCz-Rr4:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/003h_Sb29Qw" height="1" width="1"/

In a small village in India, there was a man with very smelly feet and a woman with very bad mouth smell…
Nobody would marry them, so the priest of the village decided to unite the both…

The families of the two agreed and they got married..
After the ceremony the respective mothers take each of them aside and warns:

To the girl:listen on your first night, whatever he may ask you, never open your mouth..only shake your head.The daughter nods.

To the man:listen on the first night, never take off your socks, always keep them…
and he agrees.

So once in their room, they start the game of love till at a certain moment, the husband feeling he lost one sock, gets up and starts searching for it…
HE asks her, have you seen my sock?
the girl shakes her head, angrily he repeated, have u seen my sock?? she shakes her head again…

He loses his patience and and shaking her shouts, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOCK?
She blurts, NO!

MAN: WHY HAVE YOU EATEN IT?

posted by Varous

In a small village in India, there was a man with very smelly feet and a woman with very bad mouth smell...br /Nobody would marry them, so the priest of the village decided to unite the both...br /br /The families of the two agreed and they got married..br /After the ceremony the respective mothers take each of them aside and warns:br /br /To the girl:listen on your first night, whatever he may ask you, never open your mouth..only shake your head.The daughter nods.br /br /To the man:listen on the first night, never take off your socks, always keep them...br /and he agrees.br /br /So once in their room, they start the game of love till at a certain moment, the husband feeling he lost one sock, gets up and starts searching for it...br /HE asks her, have you seen my sock?br /the girl shakes her head, angrily he repeated, have u seen my sock?? she shakes her head again...br /br /He loses his patience and and shaking her shouts, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOCK?br /She blurts, NO!br /br /MAN: WHY HAVE YOU EATEN IT?div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-6343005845288941446?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=K-Su70cEIbE:_KSMN0EjVeo:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/K-Su70cEIbE" height="1" width="1"/