Archive for August, 2007

I bet you’ll be left smiling……

There are 5 facts in the world…………..

Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.

Fact 3: Fact1 is false. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha………………

Fact 4: Now you are laughing ! Because you became a fool !

Fact 5: You want to fool your friends also. So you want to forward this as soon
as you read this.

posted by Varous

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I bet you’ll be left smiling……

There are 5 facts in the world..............br /br /Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 3: Fact1 is false. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..................br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 4: Now you are laughing ! Because you became a fool !br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 5: You want to fool your friends also. So you want to forward this as soonbr /as you read this.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-5145058915015848458?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/Z7oXJoeD-nM" height="1" width="1"/

I bet you’ll be left smiling……

There are 5 facts in the world..............br /br /Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 3: Fact1 is false. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..................br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 4: Now you are laughing ! Because you became a fool !br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /br /Fact 5: You want to fool your friends also. So you want to forward this as soonbr /as you read this.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/28021843-5145058915015848458?l=jokevault.blogspot.com' alt='' //divdiv class="feedflare" a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:yIl2AUoC8zA"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:F7zBnMyn0Lo"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:V_sGLiPBpWU"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:qj6IDK7rITs"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:dnMXMwOfBR0"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?d=dnMXMwOfBR0" border="0"/img/a a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?a=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:gIN9vFwOqvQ"img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/JokeVault?i=Z7oXJoeD-nM:cpfh1lu7XFI:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"/img/a /divimg src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JokeVault/~4/Z7oXJoeD-nM" height="1" width="1"/

Little Johnny: Axe and you shall receive

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Little Johnny replies, “Because George was the one holding the axe?

From Littlejohnnyjoke.com, a compilation of 40 Little Johnny Jokes.

posted by Varous

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Sites of the Day

The Jokevault

#1 humorous site of the day is:

http://iparklikeanidiot.com/

I park like an idiot bumper stickers, ready to stick!

#2 http://fun.deathevokation.com/hippies.jpg

#3 Homeland Security Parody at http://www.safenow.org/

posted by Varous

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Little Johnny: it hurts.

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Little Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.
The Teacher asked, “Johnny, what are you doing?”
Then, Johnny said, “It hurts down there.” “Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home”, said the teacher.
A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.
Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his d**k hanging out of his pants.
The teacher said, “Johnny, what’s that doing hanging out of your pants?”
Then Johnny said, “My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she’ll come and pick me up.”

From Deeshay

posted by Varous

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Little Johnny Joke: Ugly Baby

A lady boarded a bus with a little baby in her arms. The driver glanced at the baby once and exclaimed, ‘My God. That’s one ugly baby.’
The lady slammed her fare down the fare box and angrily went and sat at the back of the bus. Little johnny saw her angry face and asked her what the problem was.
‘That mean driver just insulted me,’ the lady said.
Sensing trouble Little Johnny’s eyes sparkled. ‘What! That idiot! He shouldn’t have insulted you. What a nerve!’
‘Yeah,’ said the lady. ‘I think I’ll go now and give him a piece of my mind.’
‘Sure thing!’ encouraged the excited Little Johnny. ‘You should tell him that he shouldn’t tell you something so offensive’
‘Hmm, yes,’ said the lady, trying to rise from her seat with the baby in her arms.’I'll go right now!’
‘Yeah sure,’ said Little Johnny, and added excitedly, ‘here, let me hold your monkey.’

From Avi

posted by Varous

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Three in the morning.

A MAN and his wife were awakened at 3am by a loud pounding on their door. The man got out of bed, went to the door, opened it and saw a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain.
“What the hell do you want?” the angry man asked.

“Shcuse me, pal,” slurred the drunk, “but would you give me a push?”

“Are you crazy?” yelled the bloke. “Not a chance! It’s three o’clock in the morning and it’s pissing down!” then he slammed the door and went back to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk asking for a push,” he mumbled.
“And did you help him dear?” the wife asked
“No I bloody didn’t help him!” the bloke yelled. “It’s three in the morning and raining crazy outside.”
“All I can say is you’ve got a very short memory,” snapped his wife.
“Don’t you remember the time our car broke down on the way to that golf club do of yours and those two kind strangers helped us out? Someone was nice enough to help you when you needed it – and I think you should help the poor man now.”
Knowing his wife would keep nagging him until he did what she said, the bloke got dressed, walked downstairs and went out into the wet.
Unable to see anything in the dark and driving rain, the bloke called out, “Hey are you still out there?”
“Yes,” came the reply.
“Do you still need a push?” the bloke called.
“Yes please!”
“Where are you?”
“Over here on the swing.”

posted by Varous

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Little Johnny in Geography Class

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Johnny: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Johnny: We borrow it from our neighbour.

Teacher: What are the people of Turkey called?
Johnny: I don’t know.
Teacher: They’re called Turks, now what are the people of Germany called?
Johnny: They are called Germs.

From Chaitalee

posted by Varous

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