Little Johnny’s father said, “let me see your report card.”Johnny replied, “I don’t have it.””Why not?” His father asked.”My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”___________________________________________________________________
“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “can you give me twenty dollars?””Certainly not!” answered his mother.”If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you what dad said […]
Extracts from Resumes
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.It’s best for employers that I not work with people.Let’s […]
Johnny looked into the mirror one night,And sadly he shook his blond head.Johnny got down on his knees and he prayedBefore he got in to his bed.”Father, bless Daddy and Mummy I pray,And Father bless little bro Freddy.Father bless Rover and my hussy, Spunk,And don’t forget Rastus, my teddy.Father, please make me a good boy, […]
Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan’s arm, eye, and dic*. Of course, Tarzan’s jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs — the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, […]
Three guys are stranded on an island and are captured by cannibals. The chief of the cannibals says to the three men,”I’ll give you all one chance at life. You may choose any one weapon or item that I have in my kingdom. You will be set free for 30 seconds and then my cannibals […]
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.”
“Good. What comes after three?”
“Four,” answers the boy.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” says the kid.
posted by Varous
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Johnny, what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade, too!” The teacher had […]
